Overdue Photo, Explanation, Apology

To begin with I want to show you that if you come to Memphis, I will meet you :).

This is Jeri and myself at dinner. I wrote about our meeting on this post. She is awesome!

If you watched the T-Mobile commercial, the big deal was the tagline "No more Mr. Nice Girl."

I took that as a giveaway that the T in T-Mobile might belong with the Trans community.

I apologize to anyone who might be/have been offended by the pronoun usage, when I posted it I was really excited and had just seen it and had taken for granted that the particular pronoun usage was to "out" themselves. I posted right before I went to sleep and all yesterday I had this really bad feeling that I might be offending people, but couldn't get to a computer long enough to fix it. So please forgive me if you were offended, that was NOT my intention at all.

Hugs to you all!

Aeify

I feel so slow...

My bestie Ang showed this to me last night...

The tagline had me SQUEALING IN DELIGHT!!!

And then my friend said: T - Mobile... now I get it!!!

GLEE--MUST READ AND SEE!!!

I know I have begged you all to watch Glee, to give it a chance because of the acceptance that this show is promoting to the youth of our country. I think it's a show parents and teens should watch together to open the doors of discussion.

Well, I don't have cable anymore, it was that or the internet and my bff Google would miss me too much, and I'd miss you all too much so I picked internet. So I watch my "tv" shows mostly at Hulu. Hulu plus is less than 10.00 per month if you can't wait a few days to see the shows when they go free for regular folks, and some shows are Hulu plus exclusive (um, it's worth it btw). So now that I have freely advertised for the man, let me tell you about this week's episode.

They had a Male to Female transgender teen on an episode.

If you are looking for an opening, and anyone in your house is a fan of the show, I highly suggest you watch the whole episode. The whole T thing rocked these little accepting kids' world. I am so glad they let Alex star in the song like this. I'm going to be honest, I don't know if he is actually transgender. I watched the show the Glee Project where he won the opportunity to be in some episodes and he himself prettied up for some performing... he said it was for the song he chose, but I wasn't sure. I'm still not, I can't know what's in his heart. But I know that he never came to life with his marvelous voice dressed in drab like he did in drag. The creator of the show, Ryan Murphy was so impressed when this young boy came out and performed pretty, and he mentioned that he had been wanting to introduce a transgendered character to the show. I was sure this was at least another season off. I was wrong.

Here's the clip of the performance by : Unique (which is what the male character in the show wanted his femme character to be named)
Warning: The leader of the group that Unique was singing for had no idea that it wouldn't be Wade... he didn't know anything about Unique and he tried to get her to stop performing. But she doesn't. :)

New Friends!

I made a new friend yesterday. Her name is Jeri. She's tall and lovely. Dresses well and loves to pop the color (which is something I personally love!). We met and had dinner (I had two glasses of wine). It was incredibly lovely!!

We just gabbed and gabbed, I'm surprised either of us had a chance to eat we talked so much. We chatted away about clothes, shoes, our families and what we do for a living. It was FANTASTIC!

I hope she gets to Memphis again sometime. Meg is the one who got us in touch with one another. There were some ladies trying to meet in another area and Jeri mentioned she would be here, so Meg asked me if I'd like to meet her and vice versa, we exchanged emails and wound up having an awesome dinner! (And I didn't get weird and emotional and cry or anything, so I have references if you need any LOL but I did let my "bama" out a bit because we were discussing the South... I try to keep that way down inside most of the time).

Hugs everyone!

Other Exciting Adventures

My super special friend Meg gave me a heads-up and info on a lady that's visiting Memphis soon. It seems she is more a blog reader than a blogger herself, but I've sent my contact info and hope she responds soon... wish me luck! I'm looking forward to meeting new friends!

New Possibilites

If you have met others in the cd/tg community, how do you decide who is "safe" to meet? Have you ever decided to meet someone then all of a sudden have your spidey senses kick in and tell you it might not be the best idea?

When Penny was around, I simply trusted her judgement. Anyone she talked about wanting to meet is automatically on my ok to meet with list. I have the opportunity to meet someone who contacted me after her death and am not exactly sure if now that the time is here that I am 100% comfortable. I have agreed to do it, and am putting safety precautions in place. There has just been a bit of oddness between the first phone calls and more recent ones that has my sense of danger flared.

Right now I have a meeting in public with my own transportation planned. I can't see that anything might go wrong, but I'm sure there might be a flaw here somewhere.

It could be nothing, but I'm trying to trust my instincts more these days as they don't normally let me down if I give in to them...

Hugs!

Perfect People for a Non Perfect Task

The parents of my godchildren are coming today! They will come and help me go through Penny's room. Penny had various hobbies and she always had her own space... in every place we ever lived. There was always a room I didn't enter unless I was specifically invited.

I didn't think it was weird for a married couple to have this, no matter how many people said it was. I thought it made me awesome. Sometimes I wonder if I'd gone in there more often if I would have found out about Penny sooner. I mean really it's amazing to me what I thought I knew from before we got married to what it became all of a sudden.

The only thing I asked her for, was to share it all with me. It was her life, and to me the sharing was what you do when you are married.

The room is full. It's full of musical equipment, books, femme stuff like clothes, wigs, and who knows... there are cds in the hundreds and action figures and notebooks full of writing. So many notebooks.

Today was the first time it occurred to me that I might not be the only person this is going to be hard for. That it might be hard for my friends as well. It also occurred to me this is one of those things you can't thank people properly for. I just hope in some way the action of what we are doing is theraputic in nature and helps us all.

I'm thinking of you all!

Hugs!!

Some other kind of anniversary.

My marriage was not just unusual in that my spouse was transgender. We celebrated differently than most couples. It was ok by me. Really, we talked about it. We didn't get very many vacations while we were married. We went on a honeymoon right after we got married where we drove all over the east side of TN and up into NC. Then back to Sweet Home Alabama. Then 9 years later we got another vacation. We went to Chicago. Then a couple years later to Walt Disney World. Then last April... almost a year ago exactly we had a few days to vacay to Chattanooga which is where we spent a lot of time on the honeymoon. This trip was different in that Penny went as well. We drove from Memphis to Nashville with Penny dressed (mostly) no makeup, bra and women's clothing, Men's hoodie and shoes. This was a big deal.

I wanted Penny to go all the way with full makeup and women's shoes but he wanted to hold back, he just wasn't ready.

We also spent time shopping for Penny where he was out in drab, but dared to try on women's shoes in public! It was awesome.

I am SO SAD! I don't want to be sad, I want to be happy that I was there, that I got to share in it. We didn't get to go to Ruby Falls on this trip, it got flooded out. We did get to trek back around Rock City which was really important to us.

I don't even know how to describe how it bittersweet those memories are now. He was so insistent that I buy the silly see rock city birdhouse I'd been wishing I had ever since we went on our honeymoon. It's still in the house, I had never put it outside.

I want to drink so heavily right now, I'd give almost anything to be able to take the rest of today off work and drink until I can't feel anything anymore. I know people sometimes tell me I should let things out more, but really it's hard. The person that I had that I could show all of that vulnerablity to is gone. It's hard to just be that way around even people I have known and loved for years.

Why would they want to be around it. It's not fun, or pretty.

Ok, time to go visit the therapy blog. Just wanted to share with you ladies too...

Hugs!

What we all want, really

I am a cis-girl who identifies herself as straight and is for a fact, sexually attracted to men dressed as women. I am also attracted to men dressed as men.

I do not think I am better than anyone else who identifies in any other way. I do not hold anything against trans-women  or trans-men at any stage of their development.

That being said, I would just like to say that even cis-girls and boys need acceptance in their life.

I know I touched on the subject when I posted about watching "The Help." And ever since then, I've been doing some reflecting (ok, really since Penny died I've been doing a lot of reflecting wether I wanted to or not). As much as Penny wanted acceptance from people, and as much as she wanted to accept herself, she had problems with it. I loved her just as she was... or just as she told me she was. I wanted her to do and be whatever it was that she felt she should be. I have tried to honor, care for and support all of my online trans family and friends, but lately I have come to realize that it's not just people that society deem as "different" who need acceptance.

I have had a lot of problems with my mother since Penny passed away. My mother is very immature (sorry, it's a fact... I'm not trying to disrespect) and doesn't understand why I am not at her home in Alabama in the bosom of my family getting over my loss. I can't even wrap my head around why I would leave my home and job and life to go wallow in self pity and various cakes and pies and fried chicken and dumplings that mama would try to use to make me feel better.

I asked her why she couldn't just be proud of me like my daddy. She said it was because me staying here meant I didn't love her... didn't need her... it had nothing to do with me being raised to be a strong and independent woman on my own.

My friends that are left... the old ones that I had when I was married. They have accepted me, the single me that I am becoming. They accept that I HAVE to make jokes about suicide from time to time, it's part of how I deal with things. The new friends I have made, they know me from my voice here, or from meeting me since I became Wonder Woman and they just have to accept face value.

There are people who don't like me as much. I have had to just let them fall to the side. They like the me who just went with the flow, did whatever they wanted... I don't even know who that person is or where she came from. No one I grew up with would.

I don't want friends that don't accept who I am. I want people who know and love me for me. Because I'm worth something!

You are too, you know.

Choose your friends wisely. It's what you get to do when you are a grown up.

Hugs.

Some movie reviews for you...

I went to the movies a couple of times last week. I thought I'd let you know what I thought and wether or not you should check them out, and possibly if you'd even enjoy them at all :)

John Carter- the screenplay was based on the book A Princess of Mars. I really, really enjoyed this movie. It was pure fantasy with some steampunky sci-fi elements and REALLY cool costumes that seemed influenced by gladiators and egyptians. That being said, I have to say that this over all felt like a classic "B" movie with it's cheesy pet character (adorable and unnecessary) thrown in just for the kids in the audience as well as you can tell at some point Disney decided they weren't backing this 100% and this movie contains some of the cheapest looking greenscreen work since I don't even know when (I mean, if I can TELL it's greenscreen, it doesn't look real people! I would encourage you to go see it in the movies if you love sci-fi just to encourage the people who make movies to make more along this line, also I don't know that I've ever seen a "B" movie in the theatre before and it sure was fun! Also my girlfriend who went with me was seeing it for the second time and she says there's tons of stuff you miss on the first viewing that makes it worth a second shot.

Mirror Mirror- This is a refreshing take on the Snow White story for a  modern age. This sentence is exactly one that would normally make me want to vomit and probably never watch the movie, but it's true and I loved it! Even being the fairy tale "purest" in heart LOL. The dialogue is fantastic, Julia Roberts is SO GOOD at being WICKED!!! Snow White looks like Audrey Hepburn reincarnated and well, I do love Nathan Lane. He may be a bit underutilized, but if he was more in the movie you know he would have stolen it.
It is PG... but I don't recommend it for kids under 10. Or for kids who aren't fond of language. It's very wordy, not much in the animation department and there are enough jokes strictly for parents that you don't need to even have kids to go and enjoy yourself (that would be the department I'm in). I loved it all.... and the costumes took my breath away!

If you've seen, or go to see either of these ~ let me know what you think!

Hugs!!!

Gearing Up!

I've not been doing much exciting as of late. I do have some things I'm lining up for the future. Soon (As in probably May) I will be running in my first 5k. I have a feeling I will only be running a portion of the race and walking most of it, but I'm fine with that, I'm ready... I just need to sign up :).

Also I'm going to get to meet another cd.com member this April. AKAMichelle is coming to Memphis and we are meeting for dinner. I've been talking to her on and off for a few months now and am excited to put an actual face with the voice rather than a picture! Don't forget ladies, any of you that are coming near Memphis just let me know... I'd love to meet you all. :)

Hugs!