Monday, February 27, 2012

A New Year, New Things

I'm having another therapy appointment tomorrow. It's just my third visit. I think it helps, and it's always good to have an impartial third party to discuss things with! I wasn't sure I would like it at first. The other two times I had near panic attacks thinking of going... and my stress level grew as the day and time of the appointment approached. Today was when I noticed I wasn't getting all freaked an nervous like normal.

It made me smile to realize that. I have a list of things to go over in my "hour." I have confidence she'll be able to give me pointers on some things I feel like I can't control. I have no problem showing emotions, and I try to show them at "appropriate" times and places but sometimes it just comes out. I let it. It's good. I'm having a lot of good days and people at work tell me it's ok to be upset if I need to, but I know that :).

And the animals help. They give so much unconditional love. Working in the kennel and in treatment I get to ride the roller coaster frequently. Routine surgery, emergency surgery, other procedures that do and don't mean life or death. New puppies and kittens. Saying goodbye to patients I know almost as well as my own pets. It's a great place to help you become well adjusted emotionally if you weren't before.  Well, maybe not, but it's great. Sometimes the days are really hard, but the other people there and I try to all take care of one another. If someone can't handle something, we take turns, step in, step up, take over or hug them.

I love working with the animals, and the others who care for them as well.

I wish you all love and support both online and off.

You all deserve it.

If you ever need me, I'm only an email away.


My Weekend "Trip" LOL

So this weekend was supposed to be my exciting snowy trip to Chicago. Apparently, I wasn't meant to go after all. A high school friend (and when I say friend read this as a man that I am not remotely attracted to in any single way, but he is fun to pal around with so this would be a STRICTLY platonic trip to have a fab time, could only be better if he were gay kind of trip) bought my tickets so I could fly over to visit. I got off work early Thursday so I could go home (last minute pack due to checking the weather about a billion times), get ready for travel, eat lunch with a girlfriend and then drive 3 hours to catch a plane (yes, we have an airport here, but the savings on the ticket was amazing so I told him I'd fly out of a nearby town...yes I consider 3 hours nearby, I grew up in the COUNTRY lol.)

The weather had been calling for snow on Friday and as I LOVE snow and it snowed both after my lovely Penny passed and my darling dog... I took that it was to snow in the Windy City as a sign that I was right to be going there... then the weather changed. The forecast became snow on Thursday and flights started being delayed, then as I got to the counter to check in at the airport, my flight was cancelled. Since I'm not a veteran flyer by any means, I didn't know what to do so I asked the nice person at the ticket counter and he  explained to me that I COULD come back Friday first thing and try to get on standby, but to be honest I'd probably be there all day, and the first flight I could get my ticket changed to was Saturday (and I was supposed to fly home Sunday so....)

Then I went about finding a place to spend the night somewhere closer than 3 hours away. I wound up driving a bit further north to Hopkinsville, KY to stay with an online friend at his parent's house, and then driving back to Memphis on Friday. The drive back was really lovely and I had lots of phone company for my drive which made it even nicer. I got permission to go in to work on Saturday to make up some of the time I was supposed to be gone and it was nice. Not too busy and not too slow. Then I went to a friend's housewarming here and that was nice as well.

It was a good thing I didn't go to Chicago, even though they didn't get the snow they expected. Things have a way of working out, if you just read the signs in front of you.
I tried to finish my canvas project yesterday and it took an unexpected turn. It is looking fab to me, but needs one more step or two before I will share it...

I'm so very excited!


Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Moving Right Along...

So I'm creating again, I'm going out, I'm having fun. I'm working. It's all good.
I think I've mentioned I started a big canvas project for my living room. I've never worked this scale before (36"square.) It's a massive piece and I got a little stuck when it was time for the lettering... I wanted to finish this weekend, but decided to wait a couple of days and try to borrow some cutting time from a friend who has access to more fonts than I do. If I can't reach someone today, I'll just use the fonts I have and be done! I already have an idea for a big canvas for another wall in my home and I just can't stand the not doing of it now that I have begun LOL! I STILL am having trouble with the upstairs portion of my home. It's not been any space I really spent a lot of time in for years and it seems pointless to be up there doing stuff when downstairs is nice and together.

I got ahold of another friend who is a super organizer and she's gonna help me with my scrap room. It's too chaotic in there right now, although I have been in and trying to work through it. There are random photos and things in there that get me all choked up and it's just really difficult for me to work in there alone. I have a trip to Chicago coming up that was sponsored by an old high school friend and I'm excited because snow is predicted while I'm there. It snowed here both after my sweet Penny passed and after my Kayla so I'm thinking if it snows while I'm there, it's a sign that I'm supposed to have fun and be happy and that it's the right thing for me to do.    

I wish you could all go with me!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Back in the saddle again!

So I am seeing a therapist. I've only had a couple of visits, but she assures me I am acknowledging and working through my grief. She even suggested that whenever I am ready to stop going to see her, we only have to have one more session.

I am adjusting to living alone. I have started a running program (I know, I need to... I looked at my own photos LOL.)

I am creating again! I cannot tell you how awesome this is making me feel!

What's new with you all? Are you keeping your resolutions for 2012? Are you getting out there just in case the world ends in December?


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Happy Day after VD!

I hope you all had a lovely Valentine's Day! I certainly did! It was a shock actually, to have such a good day. I started dreading it last Thursday. For years it was a day that was ignored in my household. But as of Penny's arrival, it was a day that began to be celebrated. I thought it would be a day I felt hollow and alone. But no, it wasn't. 

For the first time in my life I got red roses. 24 beautiful red roses, with the most special note. I couldn't feel more loved and cherished! (please ignore the litterbox parked behind my favorite chair, the cats have to go and it's not in the middle of the floor LOL.)

Tell me what you all got, I hope it was something romantic and lacy, even if it was from yourself.