Friday, August 31, 2012

Catching you up...

I have put my house on the market. I'm not sure how this will go, but as the anniversary of Penny's death approaches, I am ready to leave. I'm done here.

I cleared out and sold a lot of musical instruments that I owned but didn't really belong to me.

I got my car title in JUST my name.

I will keep updating and posting, sorry there's just so much that is uninteresting going on :).

I do miss you all and there's more fun coming... I promise!


Monday, August 20, 2012

Expanding the Circle

There are different kinds of friends, especially in my life. I have ones that I feel very close to and trust, and there are those I enjoy being around but wouldn't trust them to hand me my handbag without looking through it given the opportunity ( I know, but she's really sweet, just NOSY). I chose to tell someone that before she told me she was coming to see me this weekend, it hadn't occurred to me to tell her about Penny.

So she came and not long after she got here, I caught up on all her drama, then I let her in on my secret. She basically told me she couldn't believe that I hadn't thought to share it with her before... she grew up in California for F*CK'S SAKE!!! (she speaks her mind, as she should)

I told her that it was hard to tell how certain people might react. For example when I told my neighbor who USED to be my friend, he reacted badly. And actually he reacted badly at the most inopportune time. But maybe I'm being cold. He is the one who found Penny's body, not me. He just shielded me from the parts that I could never unsee once seen. In fact, who knows where I would mentally be today had I just come home by myself to find... well, you know.

But his long hurtful tirades about what he thought it meant to CD or be trans, it permanently altered how I thought about him as a person. And for someone who had to fight against the stigma of being gay in the South to be so hard on someone else... I mean that alone is reason enough in my opinion for me to never talk to him again, but there is more... and it's over so I should stop rambling on about it. My girlfriend M had a lot to say on the subject of how the neighbor reacted, so that's why I'm all stirred up about it.

Anyway it felt good to tell her, it also meant I could share pictures and even more about my trip to see Meg because I could be totally honest if she asked any questions (although on a side note she did say she wouldn't have been able to out Meg on her own).

I also shared my blog with her.

It went very well. (Did I say that already?)


Thursday, August 16, 2012

Reuniting with friends.

I had dinner with R on Tuesday night. I hadn't seen her since before Penny passed. R is one of the only people I know who doesn't use email so I hardly talk to her and we had so much to catch up on.

I don't know what she expected to see or be around, but she kept saying I seemed really happy... and I am. We did talk about some things that made me emotional for a bit. And I did have to admit to her that I have been told that in time I'll only remember the good parts of our relationship but for now it seems it's hard for me to remember good and happy things and I mostly just remember the bad stuff.

But I also remember that it's a process. And honestly I'm really a very happy and positive person so I'm sure that time will come. But I don't dwell on bad things, I just remember sometimes things I am free to do that I used to not feel free to do.

And it's all good. She seemed surprised that I went ahead and told more people about Penny. Part of me would like to tell the whole world, including our families. But I am a realest enough to know that not everyone would take the news well and that I don't want to deal with some of the reactions I would be forced to deal with.

Not sure that makes me  the best person, but I do what I can do...

We talked for quite some time. A lot has been going on in her life as well. It's amazing what all she's gone through. I feel bad for not being an ear for her more... but she is one of those people that I can not see,  then fall right back into sync with.

Those are my favorite kinds of people.

Hugs all! I hope to have more adventures soon :)!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

I'm still here :)

I know I just did a week of posting and "poof." Sorry about that. I filled you all in on the deets of my adventure with Meg and now I'm trying to figure out the logistics of where I'm going next. My goal is to move to the DC/Northern VA area. I love it there, and it's full of stuff to do, stuff I want to do and see. It's closer to other places I've never been.

According to the interwebs there is work for me there. I have a lot to sort out from here still. But other positives are I have at least one friend who lives there now, and at least one friend who is in that area frequently! I know from someone here who has lived in that area that Craigslist and Freecycle are both way better and safer to use in that area than they are here. And I know from my visit that I can drive around there and use the metro and I'll be fine. I'm excited. OH, and you should know... I don't rush into things. When I say I'm planning/figuring out stuff it's going to be longer than a couple of weeks. I just wanted to let you know what I'm up to so you don't think I've just abandoned the blog.

As a side note, my best friend from High School is from that area. He told me before I went that I would fall in love with that area. He is so right!!

Hugs ladies!

Friday, August 3, 2012

Tricks for the heat.

I grew up in central Alabama, then moved to Mississippi and currently reside in TN. I am more than used to HOT, HUMID, STICKY and gross summers. I know that one thing I personally do is try to wear as little as possible (in the foundation garment area, I'm not going to be indecent, come on ladies). I like to look for dresses or tops that have that really high waistline so as to leave the actual tummy area in a "free" or unfettered area of the dress. It's a very slimming look because right under the bust area is most everyone's smallest point and having the dress nip in there and go out is very flattering. It will also save you from having to wear a cinch which will increase your body temperature by quite a lot... those undergarments are made for structure, but NOT wearing when it's triple digits and high humidity.

Our "twins" dresses had that high waistline.

Another thing I do to help with all the glowing (southern women don't sweat, we glow and lemme tell you I GLOW like a faucet, LOL), is that I use powder. You can get some lovely femme powder from department stores/ Ulta/ Sephora/drugstores. I use just plain old baby powder because it's inexpensive, easy to find, and it works GREAT. I use it everywhere that glows heavily and I mean everywhere... I apply it post lotion after the lotion has sunk in on the other parts of me because otherwise the powder would stick to the lotion. 

If you wear a wig, then it's just going to be warm. If you have grown your femme hair then I suggest using a pretty headband or hairbows to sweep it away from your face and maybe wear it up in a ponytail or a messy bun. Hair up is cooler than hair down. I usually start with what I think is much cuter hair and then get hot and use those little clips to move it more and more away from my skin and look terrible after I get uncomfortable... you've seen the photos :).

Hugs to you all and I hope some of this is useful :)!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Surprise Adventure V

Sunday (part II):

After we left the swap, we drove to Old Town. Let me say that this was TOTALLY my kind of thing... walking around, looking at things like architecture, birds, water, people, shops, people... you get the idea :). For starters I got to drive and parallel park. For those who are from other areas, you may get to parallel park on a regular basis. This was only the 2nd time in all of my years driving that I have needed to attempt parallel parking.  I did make it without any horrible incident, but I do need more practice. I'm ready ;). (Meg's judgement doesn't count in this, take my word for it)

We ambled along the streets, down to the water and I got to see the beautiful Cherry Blossom riverboat

After seeing the riverboat, Meg and I strolled through the:

I LOVED this place, it really inspired me. I had to come home and start playing with paper, scissors and glue right away. (Have I mentioned my scrapbooking habit?) After we finished here, I was kind of in a panic because I was realizing that my previously unsore foot was developing a major blister. I wasn't quite sure what was going to give first... me or my foot. I didn't want to leave Old Town, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to walk in my super cute strappy sandals much longer. We went into several shops looking at clothing, scarves and jewelry. I was secretly hoping that we'd come across some house shoes or some store that sold something I could exchange my cute shoes for and then: enter the Life is Good store.
I had never actually been in a Life is Good store, but I had seen their t-shirts in other stores and I knew they have a thing about comfort. I could NOT enter that store fast enough. I walked toward the middle of the store and as though it were waiting to smack me, was a display of flipflops. They weren't fancy looking, but they were just what I needed. I picked up a pair in what I thought was my size, laid them on the counter and told the man I'd be wearing them out. He then told me to try them on because they were made small and I'd probably need a bigger size. He was right. Then he rung me up and I almost changed my mind... then I bought the most expensive FLIP FLOPS I have ever seen. They are Flojos. They are also the most comfortable things I have ever stuck on the ends of my feet! They are my super/awesome/fantastic souvenir from this trip! And I have stopped feeling guilty about spending so much on them. 

After another shop or so, it was getting very late for lunch and we hadn't eaten very much at all that day. Meg told me to pick somewhere to eat and shortly after that we were passing a place called La Tosca which is a tapas restaurant. I asked if we could eat tapas because I'd never had them before, turns out Meg hadn't either so tapas it was! Our food was GREAT. The restaurant was pleasantly uncrowded because of the weird hour we were there and we enjoyed a leisurely meal, some awesome window seats perfect for people watching (turns out we both enjoy that!), and chatted away.

On our way back to the car we passed a sweet little place called Lavendar Moon Cupcakery which offered many different kinds of lovely looking cupcakes. I was having some so I pushed Meg into choosing at least 1 cupcake...

And my cupcake, she was delicious! I ate the upper right one. It was a peach cupcake with blackberry frosting. YUM. Meg picked the chocolate and I intended to eat the lemon one before I flew out, but I forgot all about it. Meg said she was yummy so at least she wasn't wasted :). I highly recommend that little cupcakery. It is so lovely and the cupcakes are on different stands behind glass... so femme and lovely.

*As a side note, today would have been Penny's birthday. I'm so happy she was in my life. I'm also happy she is at peace.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Teaser....bathing photo ;)

I'll fill you in on the rest of my surprise adventure tomorrow :)