Sunday, October 17, 2010

Where to begin.

This has been a really emotional week for me. It wasn't bad, just emotional. Everyone has family drama and I try not to get involved or too upset about the ones I don't have any control over, but I learned some things this week that upset me (of course, doesn't everyone have stuff like this happen in their family). Anyway on another front, I had a misunderstanding with a friend that caused me a ton of grief at no fault to the friend, she just didn't know...

I think we all have people we like vs. people we love. You know those people you'd take a bullet for or go punch out someone that hurt their feelings (yes, I've had raging hormones this week and so everything that happened to me may not have ACTUALLY been that bad, but my perception of the situation is what counts.) Well I have a friend that I actually haven't known that long but she zoomed straight into the love category that also is my... I will physically hurt people who emotionally hurt you category (a category that I've never actually gotten to act out, but I have vivid images that I fantasize about, don't let that change your opinion of me.) Anyway she was having a rough patch,  (I don't think it's over either) and she needed some time and space to think, so she withdrew. Not really from me personally, but from everything.
This is not a bad thing, people have all kinds of ways to process things, and I fully support this method. The only thing is, since I haven't known her very long, I wasn't sure what was going on. I just knew that she was gone... not answering. At first I decided that she was dealing with personal issues, but then because I couldn't verify that I decided that she didn't really like me and want to be my friend because of something stupid I must have said or done (because let me tell you I totally let my guard down and speak my mind with her wether it's pc, polite or what.)
Anyway after days of freaking out, she finally had gotten enough upset emails/calls/texts to let her know that bless her, I was freaking the FUCK out! And she called, she let me know that she was dealing with things and that she didn't know I'd feel left out like that (bless her.) I told her I was fine with giving her space, she just needed to let me know. (In my defense, I really was worried about her, she had been traveling and I wanted to make sure she was physically ok as well.)
Does this ever happen to you? What do you do when you over-react? Do you have others in your life you let get that close?


  1. This has been an issue for me with my online friends. When email correspondence begins, there's a flurry of mail back and forth, sometimes for weeks. Then it settles back into an occasional give and take.

    A couple of times, the initial flurry has been suddenly interrupted. Once, it was a vacation that wasn't mentioned. Another, it was an issue with Yahoo mail not being delivered. Both times I jumped to the conclusion that I had somehow offended the other party. After waiting for days with no reply, I composed very deferential apologies, offense unknown, throwing myself on their mercy.

    Total overreaction on my part. I'm quick to assume the blame when communication breaks down. Maybe I'm past it now, maybe not. I'm a bit of a pleaser; I want to be liked. During that first "get to know ya" stage, when I'm trying to ingratiate myself, I'm always second guessing what I say, and trying to read minds. Having real friends involves a learning curve that I have struggled with at times.

  2. Good to see you feel the same way as I do, Leslie! ☺ Sometimes distant friends are close.

    Being real friends can be challenging to expectations on either side. To be able to give is really a pleasure when receiving is not a motive. I have not reached that level but I do try with a little help from my friends.


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