Saturday, June 23, 2012

What I chose :)

I have an awesome friend who doesn't mind telling me the truth (actually I'm lucky enough to have more than one of those but this post is about one in particular). I was having a pity party this time last week, and as the week progressed I was getting more and more panicked on how the anniversary was going to be. She took me to task, and I admit I thought she was being a bit harsh at first, but I understood why she did it.

She basically told me that if I wanted to be sad on the anniversary of the day I married Penny, to go ahead... but that being sad would be my choice. That I could choose to be miserable and feel sorry for myself, or that I could do something about it. She asked me what I'd be doing if Penny was alive. the answer to that was easy, I'd be feeling sorry for myself because it would be an anniversary that we didn't celebrate. Penny only wanted to celebrate years that ended in a 5 or 0. She didn't see the point of celebrating every year.

So I bought myself a gift the day before, some new luggage to travel with. I have FINALLY gotten some vacation time at work and I intend to use it as soon as I can finalize some plans :). It's pretty and brightly colored, and just mine :). I gave my old luggage to that very same friend. I had a different good friend contact me early in the week just to tell me that she had made plans to be available on Thursday if I should want some company, or just to sleep at a place that is not this house. She said we could go out, or order in, or whatever I want. We went out. To Jim N Nick's BBQ which is one of my FAVORITE places to eat (and not just for bbq as I had catfish and a fruity libation). I talked and laughed and had a wonderful dinner, then went home EXHAUSTED from work which decided to give me more hours than I had originally been scheduled for AND I got an extra petsitting job that day as well.

I had planned for some sad time like the therapist told me too, and I wound up being AT WORK those hours, and I guess it just worked itself out there, because I didn't have anything left to be sad about when I got home :).

I really did think despite everything it would be terrible, but it wasn't.


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