I had dinner with R on Tuesday night. I hadn't seen her since before Penny passed. R is one of the only people I know who doesn't use email so I hardly talk to her and we had so much to catch up on.
I don't know what she expected to see or be around, but she kept saying I seemed really happy... and I am. We did talk about some things that made me emotional for a bit. And I did have to admit to her that I have been told that in time I'll only remember the good parts of our relationship but for now it seems it's hard for me to remember good and happy things and I mostly just remember the bad stuff.
But I also remember that it's a process. And honestly I'm really a very happy and positive person so I'm sure that time will come. But I don't dwell on bad things, I just remember sometimes things I am free to do that I used to not feel free to do.
And it's all good. She seemed surprised that I went ahead and told more people about Penny. Part of me would like to tell the whole world, including our families. But I am a realest enough to know that not everyone would take the news well and that I don't want to deal with some of the reactions I would be forced to deal with.
Not sure that makes me the best person, but I do what I can do...
We talked for quite some time. A lot has been going on in her life as well. It's amazing what all she's gone through. I feel bad for not being an ear for her more... but she is one of those people that I can not see, then fall right back into sync with.
Those are my favorite kinds of people.
Hugs all! I hope to have more adventures soon :)!
Nice to hear you're OK, Aeify.
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