Thanksgiving plans...

So we are about to celebrate one of my personal favorite holidays. I love Thanksgiving. I do love food (yes, my waistline is rather larger than I'm happy with, but exercise classes have begun so progress is being made.) I'd love to get down as small as  Penny, well because I'm vain and I want to be at least able to share clothes LOL!
I have a lot to be thankful for this year. We are both still employed, our families health is good. We are going to have the godkids and their parents over for Thanksgiving. We are both together and still healthy. Our pets are doing well. This year hasn't been as hard as last. We have grown more as a couple this year and it continues to amaze me that our relationship just keeps getting better. I love that we have started to have adventures together out in public and hope to continue on that front.
It has recently come to my attention that there are those out in cyberspace who would be placed by some into the transgender community and they find this label offensive. They have my permission not to use it. When I get a form and it asks for my ethnicity I try to always check the box that says I don't have to tell you that.
Labels aren't for everyone. I am most certainly not a feminist. I am offended by full garbage cans that don't immediately empty themselves yet I have a job that has me scooping poop all day long (go figure!).
I have no problem with anyone who does or does not want a label. You are all welcome to share the ones I take... married, female, heterosexual. You can create your own, share soemone else's. There are labels that are offensive to me, not the words themselves, but for the hate and ideals that are associated with them.
I believe that everyone has a right to their own beliefs. I also believe they have the right to respect mine.
I want to thank you everyone for respectfully commenting when you feel led, and for reading and hopping on if you disagree or just don't like what I have to say.
I am most thankful this year for the new friends that I have made. I am thankful to those of you who have reached out across the interweb to make a new friend. Thank you to those who are out in the world, and thanks even more to those who are only out in secret.
Hugs and if you celebrate Thanksgiving I hope you have a wonderful one.
Aeify

Gettin' Wiggy with it!

Ok, cheesiest title of a blog post EVER!! But we had the best day today. In case you don't know, Penny and I work seperate shifts and almost always have Friday off together and we are pretty serious about spending as many hours together on those Fridays as possible! We met R. for dinner last night, which of course was great. It is always such a pleasure to get together with her. She had a new hairdo which reminded me that I had seen a sign advertising a new wig store in town.
Penny has a wig, that she REALLY doesn't like. We bought it a while ago and I think I saw the initial try-on. We bought it online because at the time it seemed Penny would never go out the front door in the light of day (or night, she didn't seem to have ANY plans to go out of the house at first.) So after telling R about the store, she asks if we'd like to all go together since we'd never been wig shopping and she had a few hours to kill before heading home. A meeting time was set and on the way home from dinner I suggested that if she wore makeup, she'd be happier wig shopping. (She agreed of course.)

This morning we got up, got dressed and made up and Penny and I walked out the front door. She said she was in "Half-femme" as her jeans were "mens" and her shoes were as well (her femme shoes weren't for the cold, and it was CHILLY this morning) and I told her she might as well consider herself total femme because skinny jeans don't count as "mens" and the shoes, well ok, not very femme, but also some women wear similar shoes.

The "new" wig shop we went to had some ridiculous rule about paying a dollar for a new wig cap every three wigs you tried on so we pretty much left right after we went in. We were disappointed and R suggested we go over the the mall. I looked at Penny and told her it was up to her and she said she was game. So over to the very public mall in broad daylight, femme to her feet! Nothing bad happened. I actually only noticed one schmo looking at us, when we first walked in. He even held his mouth open. I was amused. Penny missed this one but said there were others "looking."

We visited the MAC counter with R. Looked at some jewelry and then then hugged our sweet R farewell after getting her to tell us about the wig store she had recently been to in our area.

We headed down the interstate, found the store (Ms. Theresa's) no problem and walked in.  WOW they had loads of wigs. We picked out some together, tried on a couple (both of us actually, I thought it was FANTASTIC!!) and then we each got a wig. Penny looks so pretty and I am so very excited and proud! I think she's a little stunned at how well it went.

HUGS!

Happy Halloween 2010!

Ok, so we had plans, and they were kind of vague: for Penny to go out of the house on Halloween. She did! In costume of course. She went as Death (possibly one of the coolest comic book characters ever IMHO.) I went out with her dressed as what I called the "sexy" version of the bride of Frankenstein. I wore clothes that while not slutty were forever more flattering than the shapless robe and some super sexy heels I had been confining to house wear only, along with garish makeup and a horrible cheap wig that I picked up in the seasonal department of Wal-Mart for just this occassion. (Let me tell you right now if you ever buy one of those super cheapo less than ten dollar wigs then do NOT expect it to look as cute as it does on the package, ok...)
Anyway so we are all dolled up and the first obstacle is getting from our door to the car past our neighbor and his friend. All went well there were laughs and comments about how good we looked. And then on to the movies. We were out driving around in our costumes in broad daylight!
We went to the movies and (ok, so I was the only one surprised by this0 WE WERE THE ONLY COSTUMED PEOPLE THERE. But still, it is Halloween so we just went in got our tickets, popcorn, drink and found our seats (we got there really early, but it allowed for a few photo ops of our amazing trip out. Nothing bad happened. It was a fantastic way to spend Halloween (or any night really).

The fact that Penny was with me was so special. I don't really know how to describe it and I'm not sure if we would describe it the same. I held her hand, talked and laughed the way we always do. It wasn't weird for me at all. In fact, it was wonderful! I was so happy and proud to see her out.  I feel like it was such a success! Hugs and love to all. I am so happy!!!

Busy week.

I've had a bit of a busy week. Not just because Halloween is tomorrow, but that has added a touch of shopping for just the right costume. I'm not feeling beautiful these days because of a pesky crown that decided to just fall out of place and add that to some extra pounds creeping up because of some "secret" eating I've been doing that has been getting out of hand. I chalk part of it (at least) up to anxiety. I have been so excited about the prospect of spending Halloween with Penny (out and about) and I so want it to happen! I want her to be the confident and sexy lady that I know she can be and for us to be out of the house together. I know it's a big step, but I feel like she can handle it. I know she wants to.

I hope all of you who plan on going out tonight and tomorrow have a fab time!
Happy Halloween!
Hugs!
Aeify

Where to begin.

This has been a really emotional week for me. It wasn't bad, just emotional. Everyone has family drama and I try not to get involved or too upset about the ones I don't have any control over, but I learned some things this week that upset me (of course, doesn't everyone have stuff like this happen in their family). Anyway on another front, I had a misunderstanding with a friend that caused me a ton of grief at no fault to the friend, she just didn't know...

I think we all have people we like vs. people we love. You know those people you'd take a bullet for or go punch out someone that hurt their feelings (yes, I've had raging hormones this week and so everything that happened to me may not have ACTUALLY been that bad, but my perception of the situation is what counts.) Well I have a friend that I actually haven't known that long but she zoomed straight into the love category that also is my... I will physically hurt people who emotionally hurt you category (a category that I've never actually gotten to act out, but I have vivid images that I fantasize about, don't let that change your opinion of me.) Anyway she was having a rough patch,  (I don't think it's over either) and she needed some time and space to think, so she withdrew. Not really from me personally, but from everything.
This is not a bad thing, people have all kinds of ways to process things, and I fully support this method. The only thing is, since I haven't known her very long, I wasn't sure what was going on. I just knew that she was gone... not answering. At first I decided that she was dealing with personal issues, but then because I couldn't verify that I decided that she didn't really like me and want to be my friend because of something stupid I must have said or done (because let me tell you I totally let my guard down and speak my mind with her wether it's pc, polite or what.)
Anyway after days of freaking out, she finally had gotten enough upset emails/calls/texts to let her know that bless her, I was freaking the FUCK out! And she called, she let me know that she was dealing with things and that she didn't know I'd feel left out like that (bless her.) I told her I was fine with giving her space, she just needed to let me know. (In my defense, I really was worried about her, she had been traveling and I wanted to make sure she was physically ok as well.)
Does this ever happen to you? What do you do when you over-react? Do you have others in your life you let get that close?
Hugs,
Aeify

Reach out and touch someone...

Not claiming to be an expert here, but it seems that quite a few ladies out there have either no SO or an SO who doesn't know about/wishes your femme self didn't exist. Whomever you are, you are NOT ALONE. There are so many of you out there, and even if I haven't met you in person, my heart hangs heavy for you. If I have met you and you are my friend then I am so sad for you. Not that you are a sad person with a sad life... but that you feel stuck. Stuck in a place where you are afraid to leave the life you know for one that is unknown.
I am not advocating divorce here, but would just love to force all those confused/frustrated couples out there to talk, really talk and listen (yes even more than talk to one another, listen to what your partner has to say). I am not saying there won't be tough compromises, but I expect that far more of you would give into any whim of your partner far more than the partner will give in to be a part of your femme self.
Yes (I'm pretending to be Oprah and be every woman here) some women will have a hard time with the idea. They may even wonder other "things" like does this make me a lesbian? Do you still desire me even when you're in a dress? Where did you learn to apply your makeup so skillfully and wtf your eyelashes are to DIE FOR!!!

Anyway, just know that if you EVER need a shoulder, I will listen (or read your email). I give every question an honest answer (really, I feel at this point it's hard for me to say any of my answers apply to "typical" women because I'm apparently atypical.)

Hugs

The Sexy Side of it...

I experience crossdressing from such a unique perspective. It is very exciting to me the steps that Penny has taken, especially over the last couple of years. When I originally found out she liked to wear women's things, I didn't even think ahead to where this may lead. I do encourage her every chance I get and enjoy this side of my spouse. I acknowledge that to Penny it's not a sexual thing and recently she told me that she knew for me that it was mostly sexual. I've been thinking about that.
It is SO TRUE that it is such a turn on for me. I like to think that I'm not all over her and trying to jump her bones everytime she dresses (now anyway). But also I have to think that even I sometimes do things that turn her on and they are unintentional. I come home, take off my outerwear and hang out in lingerie that is quite provocative. I don't know about you ladies, but I wear different underthings to accomplish different things. (I'll elaborate.) I have "work" undies. They are very functional (although they have pretty colors and patterns sometimes) but they stay put where they should and most importantly don't show thorough my scrubs.
Then I have some foundation type garments that need to be worn under specific things (but really I don't even bother so they're just taking up space right now, who knows when or if I'll ever be a bridesmaid again LOL). And then there are the pretty things. The things I wear for myself to feel good about myself and the things that I buy to entice Penny, although if I'm wearing them for the first reason and not the latter, it surprises me to this day when Penny is so turned on. I have to admit that it thrills me to pieces when it happens. So I am thinking this is something similar to how I feel when I see Penny.